Martin Earley & Devin Mauch: The Roadmaps Tour (+Brendan!)

Final Stats

2010-06-27T20:04:00.000-07:00

Esperanza: Almost Empty and Parked
Food: Unloaded and Scattered Throughout My Kitchen
Miles Driven: 8’953.4
$ Spent on Gas: One Trillion Million Billion Dollars
$ Spent on Tolls: Just over $150
Hours Spent Driving: A lot A lot A lot
CDs Sold/Given Away: Over 200
Cities Visited: 10
Devins Picked Up: 1
Brendans Picked Up: 1
Birds Obliterated By our Windshield: 2
# of Annabel Lee Songs Learned: At Least 2
Daphne Willis: Over it.
Captain Beefs Given Away: 0 (Not Sure Why…)
Best State: Toss Up…
Worst State: Ohio, Easily and Without Question
Best ‘Welcome to…’ Sign: Arizona & West Virginia
Noise Complaints Received: 1
# of Times Parked at Police Stations: 1
Tolls Skipped: 3
Prank Calls: 5
Flies Killed: 19
Truckers Pissed Off: 2
Cows Seen: ∞
Rocks Seen: ∞
Hats Purchased: 4 Each
Babies Stolen: 1 (that we know of)
# Of Crazy People Seen: ∞
# Of Waffle Tacos Inhaled: Too Many
# Of Roadmaps Tours Completed: 1
# Of Good Times Had: ∞
# Of Sad Times Had: 1 (Now)
# Of New Friends Made: Many
# Of Old Friends Caught Up With: Also Many
Amount of Glad We Are that We Could Share This With You: ∞

Thank you for everything, we love you.

Take Care Of Each Other.

Nashville, Y'all!

2010-06-27T19:51:00.001-07:00

After a brief overnight stay
At an RV park in Arkansas,
Which consisted of a parking lot
And some power hook-ups,
We finally made our way towards
Nashville.
We arrived fairly late at my friend
Monykah’s house, and she
Immediately made us feel right
At home.
She has made our beds for us
And she had gone out to buy us
Snacks in case we were hungry.
We all got much needed
Showers and we hung out for the rest
Of the night. The next day
We relaxed with Monykah
And her two dogs, Quiggley
And Gulliver. We then went
Out to the Bluebird Café, in hopes
Of playing an open mic there.
The thing with Nashville is this:
Everyone knows that music industry
Executives and talent scouts
Are around everywhere.
So, a place like the Bluebird Café
Is always packed. And there
Are no auditions for open mic night.
Needless to say, we had a fun time.
Did we get to play? No.
Did we see some interesting people?
Absolutely we did.
We then went to a different place,
Where we had been told we could play.
We got there and were told that
We should have been there earlier.
Anyway, the guy was nice enough
And gave us some new contacts so
That we could try again the next night.
We went back to Monykah’s house
And hung out for a while, playing
Some music and relaxing.
The next day was huge, and it was hot.
Get your mind out of the gutter, y’all.
We went to the last bastion of all
Southern fried breakfast lunch n’ dinner
Places with excellent knick-knacks
In the store in front of it and
Rocking chairs on the porch:
Cracker Barrel.
Yep, that’s right, folks. Cracker. Barrel.
We cracked some barrels
And had us some good ol’ country
Home fried cookin’. Just what mama
Ordered. Actually, we got just what we
Ordered. The service was fine.
We left and went back to the apartment.
At this point, I had to venture out to
Wal-Mart to buy a shirt, a pair of pants,
And a tie, because I had gotten notice
That I was selected as one of the top
5 finalists (out of 350 – no big deal)
to become the first Inn-Bedded Resorter
at the Balsams Grand Hotel in New Hampshire.
They would be flying me out there
The next day, so I needed to look
At least marginally presentable.
After the quick trip, Brendan made
Us some of his signature chicken parm,
And it hit the spot.
He used to work for a restaurant
Where they did not trust him to
Do anything but cook chicken parm.
Needless to say, he got pretty good
At cooking chicken parm.
Just don’t ask him to cook
Anything else.
Actually, he can do eggplant parm, too.
After dinner we got our things
Together and went out to the
Douglas Corner Café to play.
We met some cool people and had
A great time.
Then it was off to Rebar to play
A late night jam session.
Again, met some cool
And some drunk people,
And had a blast playing some songs.
Monykah was an absolute saint
During the entirety of our stay
In Nashville. She drove us everywhere,
Made sure we saw all the sights
Of the city, and basically treated
Us as if she was our (very cool and attractive)
Mother. It was awesome.
After we got back to her house
Things began to get a bit melancholy.
I had to leave the next morning at around
5AM, so I would not be seeing the guys again
until Brendan picked
me up a few days later.
We said our goodbyes and shed some tears.
Okay, we shed a lot of tears
And hugged for an awkwardly long time.
Yes, we grabbed each other.
No, it wasn’t weird.
Shut up.
It wasn’t.
It was magical.
I left them alone,
Two musketeers without their
Dartagnan. Two little pigs
Without the little pig who
Has a house made of straw.
Two doors down
Without that one guy
That’s in Three Doors Down.
Two…okay, you get the point.
Nashville treated us well,
And we can’t wait
To return.

Stats:

Open mics attempted: 4
Open mics played: 2
Friendly people met: a lot
How tired we are: infinity

If Paradise and Austin fought...it'd be close...

2010-06-27T19:50:00.001-07:00

If you were to approach
Me on the street and say
“Hey Martin, what’s the hottest
and most humid American City you could possibly
imagine?” I would say, “Easy. Austin, Texas: the Live
Music Capitol of the World.”
And you would say, “Correct!”
Austin is hot. For Northerners like us
It is almost unbearable.
We got into the city early on Thursday
And, with some help from my friend Blakely,
Found a parking lot. It was a church
Parking lot and we weren’t sure if we would be
Allowed to park there overnight. We called the operator,
Who told us that it would be $20 a night.
He clearly made that number up
Because when I paid him he realized
That I did not have $20 in cash and
Said, “just give me $15, that’s fine.”
Nice move, Baptist parking manager.
The slogan of the church, printed
On their billboard, was:
“University Baptist Church: Going Deep.”
I don’t know what it meant, but
It seemed a bit misplaced.
Anyway, we got to Blakely’s apartment
And met her roommates Sara and Erin.
They are the epitome of Southern Beauties,
And they all say ‘y’all’ a lot.
Speaking of Southern Beauties, Austin
Has the highest percentage of attractive
Girls in the country, based on a survey
That I just made up.
We got showered up and headed towards
A little coffee shop called Flipnotics for an
Open Mic. It was a good time and we handed out
A bunch of CDs. Afterwards we went
To 6th street, which was modeled after heaven.
Bars and beautiful women everywhere.
Guess how much ANY beer cost…
Nope, wrong. $1.
Yeah, you read right. $1.
I’m just going to repeat that so it sinks in.
Guess how much beers cost…
Nope, wrong. $1.
$1!
We had a few.
We checked out a few different places
And befriended Josh, the manager of
One of the bars (a place called Peckerheads).
He continued to get us free drinks,
Which we accepted, just out of mere politeness.
Wouldn’t want to be rude to a manager, right?
Towards the end of the night we went back to
The apartment to go to bed.
Blakely’s roommate Sara has many admirable
Qualities, but her best one
Is the fact that she has the most beautiful
Dog in the world: Skylar.
I woke up in the morning, and that beauty of
A dog was licking my face. Great start to the day.
We hung out in the apartment and relaxed
Before heading out to play a small
Show at Fair Bean Coffee. We made some new
Contacts and handed out more CDs.
We then got directions to a small open mic.
The lady who gave us directions said that the
Place was called ‘J-B’s Coffee House, and that it was
On 24th and San Jacinto Blvd.
We drove there. It was not there.
We continued to drive around. It was no where.
We then looked around a little more
And discovered a place called
‘JP’s Java.’ It was not on 24th. At all.
We wandered in there and were
Surprised to find a tiny little room with a bunch of
People reading poetry around a table.
We embraced it and played some songs.
Made some money. Good deal.
That night we were supposed to meet
Up with some new friends
On 6th street. We went.
They didn’t.
However, we still keep in contact with them,
And Emily, Karla, and Mandy
Have become great friends of ours.
They continued to keep track of our tour
And we really appreciate their interest.
If they ever do decide to meet up
With us again, they’ll have
A place to stay.
Anyway, we had nothing to do
So we hung out on 6th street
For a while, enjoying the
Cheap prices.
After a long night of enjoying
Those cheap prices,
We ended up back at Esperanza.
We knew it would be a hot night,
And not in the good way.
We woke up at around 7:30AM
And it was approximately
One thousand degrees.
Not being able to get back to sleep,
We got into Balto
And began to drive.
Well. I began to drive.
Dev and Brendan continued to
Sleep.
Off to Nashville with
A quick stop in Arkansas for the night.

Stats:

# of lovely girls that ditched us: 3
# of lovely girls we have forgiven for ditching us: 0
cheap drinks seen: infinity
cheap drinks purchased: infinity
amount we loved Austin: [ ] x1’000’000
days to go on the tour: not many
miles to drive: too many
money to be spent on gas: too much
good times to be had: a lot a lot

TCOE

The Sentimental Part (Thank You's)

2010-06-27T19:09:00.000-07:00

Before I begin working on the blogs and videos for Austin and Nashville, I thought I’d take a quick second to thank all of the people that made this tour possible. Without these people, none of this would have happened, and my thanks cannot be expressed in words. Since I’m not a very good painter, though, and they have yet to produce a keyboard for gestures, I’ll give it a shot anyway:

Charles & Christina Earley:

If the trip were Balto, you guys would be the engine. You provided the backbone to this entire tour, and for that I am as grateful as can be. Not only did you trust two relative strangers and me with the truck, but you made it possible for Esperanza to join us on our journey. You then stocked her with more food than we could ever eat, and sent us on our way. You were always open to our plans and you supported our every move. 8,953.4 miles later, Esperanza is safely parked in our driveway, and Balto is still trucking. Don’t worry, Dad, I won’t tell anyone that the main reason you let us take the truck was that you want to get a new one. All jokes aside, I truly appreciate everything you guys have done for us, and I couldn’t ask for better parents. Thank you.

Mr. & Mrs. Mauch:

Thank you for allowing your son to join me on a month-long adventure, even though you knew little to nothing about me. You supported us throughout the duration of the trip, and for that I’d like to thank you. Of course, you also helped stock Esperanza with even more food – something that we definitely appreciated. You were also kind enough to give Brendan a place to sleep after the two rascals finally arrived back in Red Hook. Thank you very much.

Mr. & Mrs. O’Donnell:

Thank you for letting Brendan join our trip at its halfway point. I know you didn’t really know anything about me or Devin, but you supported your son anyway. I also enjoyed my short stay at your house, and the fact that you (Mr. O’Donnell) shared your chicken parm calzone with me will not be forgotten. I really appreciate it.

All of Our Hosts:

I know I already thanked all of you specifically, but I wanted to make sure that you all know how much we appreciate everything you’ve done for us. We’ve all made great new friends throughout this trip, and we’ve realized how many great people there are in the world. Everywhere we went our hosts treated us like royalty, and we could not have asked for anything more. Thanks to all of you.

All of Our Readers:

Thank you so much for following the tour and watching our journey unfold. You guys caused us to continue to write, video tape, and chronicle our experiences, because you made us feel like there were people who were genuinely interested in what we were doing. Your comments, texts, and phone calls kept us going on the road, and provided us with much needed entertainment on the long drives. By reading the blog and watching the videos, you invested yourself in our tour, and essentially became a very important part of it. Thank you.

Brendan:

Thanks for flying out to L.A. to join us in the middle of the trip. I know it wasn’t the most convenient of things for you, but I’m really glad you came. And not just because it made gas cheaper. You really took the role of ‘manager’ to heart and made the second half of the trip much easier. For those of you who don’t know, Brendan took care of all the little details a manager would normally take care of. He called venues, hotels, RV parks, and he was always looking out for the best interest of the band. Aside from that, he bought a ukulele – a purchase that made for a lot of good times while driving. You were always up for anything, and it was really a pleasure to have you join us on this trip. Thanks BRO.

And last but not least

Devin:

I can’t begin to say how much I appreciated you joining me on this tour. From day one you were 100% involved in bringing my music out to as many people as possible. You have shaped the way that many of my songs evolved, and you were always ready to listen to what I wanted in each song. I had a blast on this trip from the very beginning, all the way to the (perhaps premature) end. I enjoyed your company so much, I won’t even mention the fact that you asked me the following thing on several occasions, just before we went to bed: “Hey man…you want a beer?” and that, whenever I said, “No, I’m good.” You would respond with, “Well how else you gonna go to sleep?” I won’t even mention that. In all seriousness, I appreciate everything you’ve done for this trip, for my music, and for me personally, and I hope we can continue to share our music with the world.

Thank You

2010-06-26T18:23:00.000-07:00

As the Roadmaps Tour comes to an end, we wanted to take a few minutes to thank the people that made the tour what it is. We were so fortunate to have a host of incredible hosts (hehe) that truly shaped this trip. Each one of our hosts did everything they could to make our stay with them unforgettable, and they each found a way into our hearts. We consider ourselves incredibly lucky to have made so many new friendships, and to have continued some old ones. As a thank you to each one of you guys, we thought we’d write small individual notes for you. We wish we could do more to show our appreciation, because you’ve really affected our tour (and through that, our lives) in such a positive way. We won’t forget you guys. If there’s ever anything we can do to help you out in any way, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Grace (Chicago):

We rolled into Chicago knowing that we’d have a place to sleep for the night. Little did we know that you would do everything you could to make our stay in your city the most enjoyable it could possibly be. Right from the beginning, when we picked you up in order to find parking, you spared no expense in helping us out with every little detail of our stay. Yes, the parking was a mess, but clearly that wasn’t your fault, and at least now you have a friend at the police department! You organized a great house-show to kick off our tour, and even sneakily got us dinner while we were showering and getting ready to set up. You set the host bar pretty high, and we want to thank you for that.

Brossman/Corcoran Family/Annabel Lee (Mr. & Mrs. Brossman, Oli, Abs, Caroline, Karina, Lena, Matt, Stephanie, Beverly (Seattle):

Above and beyond all expectations, you guys all really made our stay in Seattle unforgettable. For the rest of the tour, whenever we were asked about our favorite places, Seattle came up immediately. From Mrs. Brossman’s delicious family dinners, to the good times at the Reggae-infused Afro-Funk club, meeting you guys was an absolute blessing and we both consider ourselves very fortunate to have done so. Aside from that, the thought of moving out to Seattle has crossed both of our minds in a very serious manner, and your hospitality and overall happiness and helpfulness has a lot to do with that. The Annabel Lee songs stuck with us for the rest of the tour, and we were constantly thinking about you guys, wondering how your respective tour would go/was going. You’re all incredibly talented, and there is no reason for your music not to catch on and grow as you continue to share it with those around you. A heartfelt thanks to all of you – we won’t forget our stay in Seattle.

Camden and the Timbers Army (Portland):

Thanks for making our stay in Portland unique and unforgettable. We didn’t know what we would be getting ourselves into by staying an extra day, but you promised it would be worth it. You were 100% right. Experiencing the Timbers and the passion that the Army has for its team was incredible. You also made sure we knew that the Timbers Army is completely and radically against any sort of homophobic or racist chants, something that we forgot to mention in the blog, but that certainly deserves to be mentioned. Waffle Tacos ruined our game in the best of ways, and we will never look at a food cart the same way. You also introduced us to Aziz Ansari, and every night after we left Portland, Devin asked me if we could “watch Aziz.” Literally, every night. Thanks for opening your doors, and for getting us off the hook with that $50 parking ticket. You’ve always been a good friend to me, and now you’ve made a new friend in Dev. Hopefully we can come out to visit again.

Hannah & the Honzel Family (Klamath Falls):

Even though our stay in the bustling metropolis that is Klamath Falls, Oregon was very brief, you made sure to make it as comfortable as possible for us. Beds had been prepared for us, and you opened your fridge for us at 2:30 in the morning. You didn’t have to do all the things you did, but it was never even a question for you, and we really appreciate that. Oh, and you made us pancakes in the morning. It doesn’t get much better than that. Was there mold on the maple syrup? Debatable. Did I have it anyway? Absolutely. Okay, you were a little camera-shy, but you really did everything to make our short stay in your “city” a great one, and hopefully we’ll be able to repay the favor at some point in the future.

Ty (San Francisco):

All I should have to mention is that you found us a parking spot for our 40 foot rig in the middle of downtown San Francisco, literally about 25 feet away from your apartment. But aside from that, you ignored the fact that you had to work in the morning and went out with us to experience the city anyway. San Francisco holds a special place in our hearts because we got to meet the fabulous Greg Brown there – a moment that I’m sure you won’t forget any time soon. Your street-side freestyle, while perhaps not entirely blog-appropriate, will bring us entertainment for a long time, I’m sure. We can’t thank you enough for the good times.

Ariadne & Her Roommates (L.A.):

We did not believe you when you said that our rig would fit in your driveway, but you proved us wrong. And then you let us park it there for our entire L.A. stay. You prepared our beds and laid out blankets for us, even though you had to work early the next day. We really appreciate all of your helpfulness, and the fact that you weren’t troubled by our 40-foot inconvenience camping out in your driveway. You supported us with everything and brought your roommate out to our show, even if you were one of about 9 people there. You helped us out so much, and I hope you know that you have 3 different open doors if you ever decide to make a trip out to the East Coast.

Kenn & Katie (L.A.):

I still don’t really believe how much you did for us. You picked us up in your car and acted as if you had been hired as our chauffeur. You drove us wherever we wanted to go, making helpful suggestions along the way. You video taped our performances, including the one in the hills, and supported us with everything we did along the way. You also got to meet Lejon with us – the first celebrity we met in L.A. Your apartment was a fantastic break from sleeping in Esperanza, and you truly went out of your way to give us whatever we wanted. It’s people like you that made this trip as special as it was. We love you. And Katie, too.

Allison & the Wilhite family (San Diego):

You live in a palace, and you were gracious enough to let the entrance bridge down and allow us to pass over the moat and enter its gold-embroidered doors. Your house literally took the breath from our mouths, and the friendliness of your family and friends was incredible. It was as if we had been accepted into the family for a few days, except we didn’t have to do any chores. You and your family did everything for us, from breakfast to an amazing buffet dinner. You really made our stay in San Diego special, and I hope you won’t be disappointed if you come to visit us, because none of us live on top of a canyon.

Blakely & Sara (& Erin) (Austin):

We feel kind of bad because we almost felt as if we invited ourselves into your apartment. We asked to use it for a shower, and then basically just ended up not leaving. You were the best of sports, however, because you totally opened your doors and allowed us to do whatever we wanted. You showed us around and went to our show with us, basically dropping everything you had planned in the process. You showed us the Austin that we wanted to experience, and made sure that we didn’t get to bed before seeing all the things we needed to see. And by that I mean $1 beers everywhere. Austin is as awesome as you’d always said it is, and I’m sorry I ever doubted you. It is incredibly hot, though. We think it might have something to do with the immense quantity of attractive girls. Okay terrible joke, but seriously, thank you so much.

Monykah, Quiggley, & Gulliver (Nashville):

Continuing the trend our other hosts set, you were absolutely amazing to us. You had beds ready for us and had already checked out many different places in Nashville that we might be able to play. You also went out and got snacks, just in case we were a little hungry. Laramie is a lucky man, and I’m sure he knows it. You drove us around wherever we wanted to go, and you made sure that we didn’t miss the highlights of Nashville, including Music Row, and that awesome frozen yogurt place. Because of the complications towards the end of our trip, you were asked to be very open and flexible, and you never complained about any of our ‘problems.’ We all really appreciate everything you did for us, and we really hope we can repay the favor at some point. Oh, and your dogs are the best. I feel fortunate to be able to call you my friend, and you’ve made 2 new friends in Devin and Brendan, that’s for sure. We wish you all the best with your music, and make sure to let us know if you’re in need of a wedding band…

Our greatest love and thanks to all of you. This tour wouldn't have been the same without you.

Thank you and Toodles

2010-06-25T15:21:00.000-07:00

Sadly this is the end of the road for our 30 days adventure, but surely not the end to this story. I had such an amazing time on this trip and words cannot begin to describe the effect it has, and will continue to have on my life.

I would like to extend my greatest thanks to Martin for teaming up with me on this trip and for allowing me to be a part of your incredible music. It is very real to me, and I believe in the power of your lyrics, music, and personality. This surely is only the first of many musical escapades for THE Martin Edgar Earley, so hopefully we will soon play together again

This whole tour was planned out at Brother Mikes one night quite informally in fact, and the rest is history. We set out to bring our music to as many people as possible and that is just what we did. However, none of it would have been possible without the help of so many amazing hosts and hostesses across the U.S. so we are currently putting together a formal thank you so hang tight 'cause we have some things to say...!

It's been my pleasure spending these days with Martin and Brendan. Amazing times, amazing music, and some amazing new friendships.

Thanks for following our experience on The Roadmaps Tour.

Love you all.

Peace.

- Dev

Update

2010-06-24T15:32:00.000-07:00

As some of you know, the Roadmaps Tour has taken a
hit due to some unforeseen complications.
I've been selected as one of the five
finalists to become the first
Inn-Bedded Resorter
at the Balsams Grand Hotel in New Hampshire.
So I was flown up there to participate
in a meet and greet day with the other
contestants and the hotel management,
along with the guys from bobdonpaul,
the agency that handles all of the marketing
for the hotel.
"I want the rest of the videos!"
you might say.
Well, I promise they will go up.
But this job has sort of taken priority
for me because I am a broke musician.
Anyway, if you'd like to help me out
with this, please just visit
www.thebalsams.com/resorter
and vote for me.
It really only takes a few seconds,
and you just need to type in your e-mail
address. That's it.

If you're not into clicking on text links,
just click the button below!

Thank you so much, and
please keep checking back for the updates on the home
stretch of the Roadmaps Tour.

TCOE

Introducing: Tank-Top Jones

2010-06-21T00:28:00.001-07:00

Austin Movie!

2010-06-21T00:26:00.000-07:00

A Little Ignition Tune...

2010-06-19T20:57:00.000-07:00

A Little Hood Tune...

2010-06-19T20:21:00.000-07:00

A Little Country Tune...

2010-06-19T20:13:00.001-07:00

Just When We Thought We Could Trust Her...

2010-06-19T16:31:00.000-07:00

We left the Grand Canyon and started
Driving towards Austin, Texas.
It was getting late, so we decided to stop
At a Wal-Mart in New Mexico.
Easy, right? Wrong.
We put ‘Wal-mart’ into Nuvi Gipsy,
And she found one right away! Perfect, right?
Wrong. She led us into a small town
In New Mexico and proceeded
To tell us to turn down
A road that was literally called
‘Unpaved Road.’
“Hmm…are you sure, Gipsy?” we asked her,
questioning her willingness to lead us.
“Yeah, man, go ahead! It’s right down
on ‘Unpaved Road!’ Would I ever lead you
astray!?” she exclaimed. To answer that question,
yes, she absolutely would lead us astray.
Do you know how I know?
Because she did. ‘Unpaved Road’
Is literally an unpaved road (…). It is about .6 miles
Long, and at the end of it there is, lo and behold,
A gate. Yep, an iron gate. No Wal-Mart,
No Walgreens, no Wallaby, no Gum-Wall,
no John Wall, nothing that
Even resembles a wall in any way.
Just a bunch of bushes with whole
Families of hungry rattlesnakes and a big,
Stupid gate. Oh, did I mention there
Was no place to turn around? Because
There wasn’t. Thanks a lot, Gipsy.
So, at 3:30 AM, Brendan and Devin had to
Get out of Balto to guide me all the way back
To a road that was actually made up of asphalt.
Things I could see: None.
It’s difficult to back up an 18 foot truck
In the total darkness.
It’s almost impossible to back up an 18 foot truck
And a 21 foot camper in the complete darkness.
All I had to go on were the directions
Of my two trusty Compadres. It took us
About 45 minutes. We have not spoken
To Nuvi Gipsy since. We muted her.
Yeah, that’s right. Shut up.
We found the Wal-Mart and parked.
Bed time.

Stats:

# of Hours Enjoyed in New Mexico: 0
Rattlesnakes Heard: Infinity

TCOE

Grand Canyon...

2010-06-19T16:30:00.000-07:00

No words.
Just go
there.
Seriously.
Leave
now.

Go.

Vegas, Vegas, the City of Sin: You Never Come Out The Way You Go In

2010-06-19T16:29:00.000-07:00

They say
“What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas,”
but I don’t believe in following
rules and regulations. Besides, if some guy
with a TV voice tells me to do something,
98% of the time I’m going to do the exact
opposite. So sit on it, Vegas man.
We rolled into Las Vegas in our 40 foot rig, or
Our stretch limousine, as we like to call it.
We found parking and gave Balto and Esperanza a rest.
They gave us a nod and sent us on our (undoubtedly
Sinful) ways, much like a pair of loving parents
Standing idly by as their first-born children go off
To college. They knew we would do things they would
Not approve of. But it’s a part of growing up,
And they would never want to stunt our growth
Or damage our natural development.
Plus, we put the E-brake on and locked them up,
So they really had no choice.
Side Note: What if parents had E-brakes? Think about it…
We checked in to the Luxor hotel, which is a gigantic
Pyramid. We only got a room for two,
So Dev had to sketchily lurk around the
Hotel lobby for a while. The good thing about Vegas, though,
Is that the hotel lobbies are casinos, so
He really didn’t have to use any disguises.
After we got to our room, Brendan and I went down
To the gym for a quick lift
And then an even quicker exploration of
The pool area. We stayed out in the sun
For about 8 minutes before we realized that
We are both the whitest of whites
And figured we’d do well to go back inside.
Meanwhile, back in the room, Devin
Had taken a shower and spent some time
Sexyfying himself. He looked good.
We came back to the room and thought
We had mistakenly walked into
Enrique Iglesias’ room – that’s how good he looked.
We showered and got some food.
Lady at Pizza Hut in a Heavy Southern Accent: “Well…
We need four personal Pan Pizzas, but we can’t heat
It all up!” Still trying to figure that one out.
Anyone who has any theories, leave them in the comments
Section. I’ll decide if they’re valid.
The Vegas strip is absolutely surreal. Things happen there.
Many things. Not many of them
Are mentionable or appropriate to discuss
In a forum as public as this one.
We saw the fountain show at the Belagio
And then went in to play some slots.
We packed Brendan into a tiny little
Delivery box and had him delivered
Into the safe underneath the casino.
We then rigged up a whole system that
Would cause a bunch of people
To win at the slots and, while everyone
Was distracted, Dev, George Clooney, and I
Snuck down to the safe. Brendan opened the door
From the inside and we stole $600 000 000 in cash.
Then that guy that helped us steal
Al Pacino’s diamonds in the third movie
Came around and was super angry at us
Because he apparently owns the Belagio.
We didn’t believe him and told him
His acting was good, not great.
We played the slots at the Belagio
And got free drinks from an Argentinian waitress
Who looked like she had taken all of the
Best parts from all of the world’s most attractive
Women and seamlessly molded them
Onto her skin, as if by some modern
Plastic surgical miracle. In short, she was very attractive.
Also, she knew we were poor and therefore
Didn’t really give us the time of day.
But she served us a drink and hung around.
Some would say that she was just waiting for her
Tip, but I think she was so drawn to our
Positive energy that she couldn’t bring herself
To leave our force field of sexiness. Make up your own mind.
But make it up to agree with my hypothesis
Because that’s definitely what happened.
We left the Belagio to find a cheaper casino.
We didn’t have to search long.
O’Shea’s is the Irish casino on the strip
And it is basically a total free-for-all.
We played beer pong with some older ladies
And gentlemen, and they were quick to agree
That the loser of each game would pay
For the beer both teams needed for the next game.
Little did they know that we had just graduated
From college with a degree in beer pong and a
Second degree in not losing in beer pong
To a pair of older ladies and gentlemen.
Needless to say, we didn’t pay for beer for a while.
We then met up with some people and did
Some things. No, none of them were illegal.
The next five hours are not important.
Yes, I played a homeless guy’s guitar
On the street, and yes, people were singing
And dancing as they walked by.
Yes, Dev was approached by 3 ladies of the night,
Or ‘professional bed-hoppers’ as I like to call them,
And yes, things were offered.
Did Dev accept?
How much did he pay?
What brand were the linens he slept on? Were
They Hotel Luxury Linens?
So many questions…
Tune in 1 centimeter below to reveal the answers!
No, Nothing, I Don’t Know, Probably Not.
We got back to the hotel and Brendan went
To bed pretty much immediately.
Dev and I, using our heads,
Decided to play roulette at 4:30 AM.
We began slowly, but started picking it up,
Little by little. At one point, we put
$80 on the number 14 and, as if by some
dark magic, the ball landed on 14.
People started to crowd around us because
We were on such a hot streak.
A small Indian man was clapping for us
As we continued to make educated bets in order
To double our money.
We had been playing for an hour and were up
Almost $2000 when the pit boss came over
To see what was going on.
The drinks were flowing because we were winning so much
And everyone wanted to be our friends.
We put all of our money on red and doubled up.
We couldn’t believe it. We jumped up and down
And gave random girls high-fives.
It was AWESOME.
Just kidding, we each bet $40 in $10 increments
And lost everything within approximately 3.4 minutes.
We went to bed.
Vegas: 1
Roadmaps Tour: 0
We got up the next morning, not hung-over at all,
And happily began our cheery and lighthearted
Ride out of Vegas and towards the Grand Canyon.

Here are some stats:

# of Prostitutes that Approached Dev at Once: 3
# of Prostitutes Shut Down by Dev: 3
Things the Prostitutes Offered: Censored
# of Homeless Street Singers Sung With: 2
# of Guitars Played on Street: 1
# of Sing-a-longs played: 3 or 7
$ Spent in Vegas: Infinity

TCOE

The Lion Sleeps Tonight by Martin, Devi , & Brendan...

2010-06-18T01:05:00.000-07:00

Greg Brown Tribute

2010-06-18T01:01:00.002-07:00

Don't Stop...

2010-06-18T01:01:00.001-07:00

Grand Canyon Movie!

2010-06-18T01:00:00.001-07:00

Las Vegas Movie!

2010-06-18T00:58:00.000-07:00

San Diego Movie!

2010-06-18T00:56:00.001-07:00

Walking on Wires (California Coast Sessions)

2010-06-17T16:44:00.001-07:00

Wait Here (California Coast Sessions)

2010-06-17T16:24:00.000-07:00

Burn (California Coast Sessions)

2010-06-17T16:23:00.000-07:00

San Diago

2010-06-16T18:29:00.001-07:00

We drove from L.A. to San Diego
In a little less than three hours and arrived
In El Cajon, hungry for showers.
We got our friend Allison’s house,
Or at least that’s what we thought.
Little did we know that Allison actually does
Not live in a house. She lives in a hilltop palace
That seemed to have been carved out of one
Gigantic piece of 14th century Venetian marble.
Her backyard overlooks all of El Cajon Valley
And it incorporates more fire pits than most
Average Americans have children: 3.
The water in her pool was as blue
As the barbecue chicken her mom cooked was
Delicious. Figure that one out.
Let me just quell all of the rumors right now:
Yes, the home does have a hot tub
And the TV was approximately the size
Of a double-wide garage door.
We relaxed in the back yard and basked in
Some of the most enjoyable climate
That North America has to offer.
We went out into downtown San Diego
And met up with some more people.
Yes, we did get ice cream cones at
Ghirardelli’s, and yes they were delicious.
Towards the end of the night we dropped off
One of Allison’s friends and started to drive
Back to the Maharaja’s kingdom that was
Allison’s house. On the way there we saw
A man laying unconsciously on the sidewalk.
Being the good Samaritans we are, we decided
To call the police. Apparently, though, you can’t
Just report an unconscious person
To the police. You have to stay on the line,
Engage the person, and try to tell the police
All sorts of information about them and
Yourself that really has nothing at all
To do with the incident. After a 15 minute ordeal
We walked over to the man and tried to help him
Get up. He slowly got up and shook our hands
Before saying:
“I’m good, man, I’m just way too drunk.”
I wanted to respond:
“Yeah you are…you went to sleep on the
concrete sidewalk in the middle of San Diego,”
but I said:
“Okay, cool” instead.
The next day we took it easy and
Indulged in some World Cup football.
In the afternoon we took a trip
To La Jolla because most of our friends
Had told us to visit there.
Here’s a list of things we saw:
Beach, rocks, squirrels, pigeons,
Seagulls, seals, lots of Asian tourists,
Beach scavengers, expensive restaurants,
And people who refused to be interviewed.
I’d like to think that those people were
Simply so overwhelmed by our stunningly
Attractive facial features and herculean
Physiques that they couldn’t bring
Themselves to speak.
But they were probably just creeped out.
Tomato, Tom-ah-to.
We then drove back to Buckingham Palace
To relax for the evening, in preparation
Of our upcoming trip to Vegas.
We figured we’d need all the energy we could
Get.
Plug: I used this time to develop and design
My new website: www.martinearley.com.
Brendan was nice enough to help me out
With the domain name and the more technical
Aspect of the whole process. The site will be up from
Now on, so feel free to check it out at
Your convenience.
In the morning we were given a full French Toast
Breakfast with the juiciest of oranges,
picked freshly from
The royal manor’s extensive gardens.
The King and Queen gave us everything
We could ask for, and for that we are
Incredibly grateful.
We bowed our goodbyes and got into
Balto, waving respectfully
As we crossed through the diamond-studded
Front gates of the estate and back into
The real world.
Vegas awaits, ladies and gentlemen,
And we will give her all we’ve got.

I’m not going to put the stats
Up right now,
But you could imagine what it
Would be like if I did, right?

That’s right: Awesome.

If you don’t hear from us
We’ve either been sold into
Slavery to square up our gambling debts
Or we don’t have internet.

TCOE

(Yeah, that’s right…I’m making
up my own sign-off acronyms. Figure
it out. I’m taking over that
niche. Watch out,
emoticons…you’re next.)

Los Angeles Movie!

2010-06-15T04:46:00.000-07:00

Los Angeles...The City of Angeles

2010-06-14T14:59:00.001-07:00

We left San Francisco where we found it –
In San Francisco.
Our route took us down I-5 for a little while,
But we had been told to take route 101. Thanks, Dad.
Route 101 is an inland route. It is not route 1, which is
The road that runs along the California coast.
Once we figured out that we had to get over to route 1
It was almost too late to cut over. But we took a huge
Detour and drove to route 1 in Monterey.
All of a sudden a 5.5 hour drive turned into a
12 hour drive. “Terrible,” you might say,
but if you said that, I would say, “Please,
don’t judge it if you haven’t tried it. It’s not
as bad as it sounds.” The views are absolutely
incredible. Cliffs and ocean, beaches and mountains.
Yes, if you were driving it in a small car
You would feel as if you were just about to go
Over the edge and fall hundreds of feet
To your doom. Did I ever tell you guys we were
Doing this trip in something that is not at all
A small car? Balto and Esperanza were steadfast
And strong. The bravest of warriors in a fierce
Battle against nature. Guess who won. Yeah,
That’s right. We did.
Roadmaps Tour: 1
Nature: 0
We got to L.A. around 1 AM, just in time to pick up
Brendan at the airport two hours after he
Arrived. He’s going to be joining us for the rest of
Our trip, so here’s a quick profile:
Name: Brendan Walsh O’Donnell
Age: 22 soulful years old
Height: A Staggering 5’5” (and 2/5ths)
Instrument of Choice: Ukulele
Interesting Fact: Actually says “Tom-ah-to.”
We drove to my friend Ariadne’s house
In West Hollywood. She was nice enough
To leave the backdoor open and put
Some blankets and pillows out for us.
We parked our 40 foot rig in her driveway,
Which happened to be the only 40 foot driveway
In all of West Hollywood, possibly L.A.
We were very sleepy, so we went to bed.
The next morning we discovered that
Brendan has an incurable addiction to
Starbucks coffee. We tried to find one, but
Walked about a mile in the wrong direction
And ended up at a “food-lab.”
Settled. Got a coffee and started walking back.
By the time we got back we were hungry from
The walk and decided to get some food.
Good thing Whole Foods was nice enough
To open its sliding glass doors to our weary
Feet. If good food were crack, Whole foods would
Be a very successful supplier/dealer. And I
Would be an avid crackhead. Definitely.
We waited in the sandwich line for about 4 hours
To get our sandwiches, but they were well worth
The wait. We walked back to Ari’s house and
Enjoyed our food. We practiced some songs
And met Claudia, one of Ari’s roommates.
Later on we took a cab to Hollywood and
Highland to see the walk of fame, the Kodak Theater,
And the Chinese Theater. We tried
To find the Jimmy Kimmel show but failed
Miserably. Over it.
A short visit to a small music store
Resulted in Brendan purchasing a little ukulele.
The store manager/owner/person who
Sleeps in the hammock in the back room was
A real straight-shooter. Literally. Brendan
Tried to barter with him a little bit,
But once the price was down at $30 the
Man said the following:
“Give me money or I go get my shotgun.”
Needless to say, Brendan gave him money.
The Ukulele sounds like Isreal Kamaoaodkdsokewile
Himself came down from his KFC in the sky
And hand crafted a Ukulele from
The finest of woods before plucking four
Strands of hair from a wood-nymph’s
Glistening scalp and stringing them up
Like an expert guitar maker would
String up guitar strings. Except smaller.
We packed the Ukulele up and went to
A bar down the street for a quick drink.
It was there that we met up with my good
Friend Kenn and his significant other, Katie.
He picked us up in his car and drove us back
To his apartment to drop some things off.
We then went to the Yard House for dinner.
At the Yard House, you can get a half yard
Of beer. Pedro, our helpful server, assured
Us that all of the light beers cost $9 for a half-yard.
Easy decision. “How about a round of Amstel Lights,
Pedro?”
“Sure, coming right up.”
“Thanks, Pedro!” (to each other): “Pedro
seems like a real swell guy!”
After dinner we did what most people do
After they eat dinner at the Yard House: Pay
The check. But wait, surprise, surprise, Pedro
Totally dicked us. The beers were $13.50. Pedro,
It turned out, was not a swell guy at all, but a
Complete and utter A-Hole. We asked for
The manager, who told us she did not have
The power to change the prices on our beers.
What’s the point of having a manager
Who can’t change the prices? Isn’t that
Just a server who doesn’t serve?
Get a real job. Seriously. Either manage your
Employees to know the real prices for your
Goods, manage the prices of your goods, or
Manage your useless self out the door.
That section of the blog was called “anger,”
And it has been brought to you by Captain Beef:
The People’s Sandwich.
After the total disappointment that was the
Beer prices at the Yard House, we went to
A place called Wurstkueche, which is German
For ‘Sausage Kitchen.’ It literally was a kitchen that
Served sausages. And beer. It was a German
Beer-hall/sausage tent. It was awesome.
Our friend Mona Tavakoli met us there
To indulge in some ale and some sausage.
She told us she’ll be playing at the Skywalker Ranch
Soon, and that she already played at Neverland Ranch.
Apparently she just loves playing music at ranches
With famous people. Real cool, Mona.
No, seriously…that is really cool.
The bouncer at the sausage kitchen looked
Exactly like Odd Job from James Bond.
We sang the theme song every time he
Came around. Wonder if he noticed…
After a stop at another bar, we went back to Kenn’s
Apartment to get some sleep.
We woke up the next morning and really wished
We hadn’t.
But we’re warriors like Balto and Esperanza,
And we don’t mess around.
So we went to In-N-Out Burger. Not the best
Of choices, to be honest. Devin’s In-N-Out
Experience will forever be scarred
Because of some minor stomach-shenanigans,
But we all made it out alive.
We then drove up to the hills with Kenn
To record a few songs with L.A. in the background.
Halfway into one of our songs we saw that
We had acquired the audience of a lone male
In a jersey. He was dancing along for a while,
Waited for the song to end, and clapped.
He then introduced himself to us as “Lejon”
And told us that he had been in Pirates of
The Caribbean and the TV show ‘Community.’
We interviewed him and he told us
That he had come to the hill in order
To pee on a tree that he’d been peeing on for
45 years. Needless to say, we thought
he’d dipped his feet into the hash-pool
for a while. However,
we looked him up on IMDB when we got back
to Kenn’s and, surprise, surprise, there he was.
LeJon Stewart. Actor extraordinaire.
Today’s message is: “Don’t judge a book
By its cover.” Unless that book works
At the Yard House and is trying to tell you
That light beers are $9. Then you judge the
Shit out of that book.
We walked down Sunset and found a little
Tattoo parlor to get us some ink.
The tattoo artist, called Danny, had done
Work on Tupac, Usher, P. Diddy, and Eve,
Among others. We met Rome Ramirez,
The new lead singer for Sublime, who
Happened to be getting some work done
at the same time. No big deal.
So what do we do after getting tattoos in L.A.?
Yep, you guessed it. We go to a gay bar.
Brendan got a lot of attention, but
I don’t think this blog is the right
Forum to explain all of that. Just use your
Imagination. But don’t go too crazy with it.
We left, got Carl’s Jr. burgers and went to bed.
In the morning we got our things together
And headed towards Ari’s house to practice
For the show that night. We got some more
Whole Foods crack before heading out
To Venice Beach. We walked the boardwalk
And checked out Muscle Beach. Devin
Was involved in a street performance. Check it
Out in the video.
We then went to Santa Monica for the show
At the Dakota Lounge. We had a pretty good crowd
And our set went well. After
The show we handed out some CDs before leaving
To go to Baby Blue’s. Baby Blue’s is a BBQ place.
It absolutely dominates. In a good way.
We then said our goodbyes to Kenn before
Calling it a night.
The next morning, on our trip to Starbucks,
We found a stray dog. He followed us around for a
While but then we realized that he was a Rottweiler.
So, we named him Thor and took him with us. He lost
Interest in us after meeting another dog,
And we felt it best not to get caught up in
A responsibility issue like that.
I somehow managed to back the trailer out of the
Smallest driveway ever and we were on our
Way to San Diego.

Here are some (meaningless) Stats:

Miles Driven: Over 4’500
$ Spent on gas: not that much
$ Spent on Tolls: same amount
Brendans Picked up: 1
Cities visited: 5
CDs given away: Over 100
$ Spent on things in L.A.: Too many
That’s all. I promise the next blog will be
Shorter.

Take it Easy…

Ain't No Flowers in No Hair in Oakland...

2010-06-14T00:40:00.000-07:00

“What’s the best way to San Francisco?”
You might ask. And so did we. So we turned to
Our most knowledgeable companion in terms of
Directions: Nuvi Gipsy.
And she responded:
“Just drive straight through Oakland and
don’t worry about it, it’s not
sketchy at all! Seriously! Do it!”
So we did. Yeah, that’s right.
Have YOU ever driven through Oakland
In a huge truck? Have you ever driven through
Oakland in a huge truck that was towing
An even bigger camper? Did that camper
Have a jumping horse on it?
I didn’t think so.
Anyway, we got through Oakland and over the
Bridge into San Francisco.
Now we just had to find a place to park.
Finding a place to park a 40 foot rig
In a huge city: No problem.
At least not for our good friend Ty,
Because he somehow found us a place
that was literally in front of his apartment.
Good looks, Ty.
It did take some expert maneuvering of
Balto and Esperanza but, seeing how
I’ve become the parking expert,
I handled it. I’m not sure if Dev’s comments of
“you got this, man” were helping or hurting,
but they seemed to have gotten the job done.
Ty lives in a small apartment and
If all of the homeless people that live
Outside of his apartment were to come
Into his apartment for a party, he would have
To buy a shit-ton of chips and dip, and
Even more booze. They probably wouldn’t
Be huge fans of the chips and dip, though.
Or maybe they would…I don’t know. Next
Time I’m in San Francisco I’ll do some
Independent research. Until then, you’ll
Have to wallow in anticipation and, perhaps,
Anger. But don’t get too angry, because I really
Didn’t do anything to deserve more than a
Manageable amount of anger, did I?
No, I didn’t.
That segment of the blog was called
“Justification” and it has been brought to you
by Overnite.com.
After we met Ty we put some videos up on the
Blog and then went to Fisherman’s Warf for dinner.
We walked along Pier 39 and scouted
Some potential background singer for
The new album. They were big and wet
And climbing all over each other. Do with that
What you will, but I will not be a part of any
Inappropriate shenanigans.
I think the word ‘shenanigans’ is so over-used.
But how else can you describe a situation like that?
‘Tomfoolery’ maybe? I don’t know…sounds weird.
Whoever gives me a better (and less-used) word
That bespeaks the meaning of ‘shenanigans’
Wins a Captain Beef. Seriously,
I’ll mail one to you. First Class.
It could be there by tomorrow…Think about it.
Okay, stop thinking about it, because I’ve
Got more things to talk about.
We had our seafood dinner and then
Decided to have a few beers.
We went to a bar called the ‘Rogue Bar.’ Guess what
Kind of beer they serve…
No. Wrong.
They serve Rogue Beer. That was a toss-up.
You guys should work on your guessing skills.
Anyway, the Rogue Bar smelled like you’d expect
A bar full of rogues and other shady characters
To smell like. I half-expected to see Strider
Or some Robin Hood type individual scrounging
Around in a dark corner of the bar,
Blowing smoke rings and basking in his own
Musky fragrance. No such luck. Just an overall
Scent of the inside of an unwashed hockey-bag
After a Bruins practice session combined with
Stale beer. Lovely.
Needless to say, we had one beer and then left.
As we were walking back towards Ty’s apartment
We came upon a bar that seemed too inviting
To pass by. I mean, the sign said
“PBR: $2.00”
Now, I know those aren’t Thai 1 Lounge prices,
But for San Fran, that’s a hell of a deal.
We stayed for a few drinks and laughed
At some people who were playing pool
And failing terribly at it.
Then we played some pool
And failed terribly at it. Don’t laugh,
It’s not funny.
After we left the bar, Ty graced us with one of his
Patented freestyles, in which he not
Only managed to rhyme things that
Had little to nothing to do with each other,
But also publically attacked a woman
And her boyfriend, who was apparently
Too scared to even say anything about it.
Whut. Get at me. Jea, tha’s whut I thought.
Solar Wiiiiind.
After the freestyle we were lucky
Enough to meet a fantastic individual by
The name of Greg Brown. If you haven’t
Watched the video below, please do so now.
I’ll wait.
No, keep watching. Don’t pause after 4 minutes
And say, “how much longer is this gonna go on!?”
Keep watching. No excuses. I don’t care if you
Have to use the bathroom. Hold it in.
Okay, now that you watched it, I don’t
Really think I need to explain Mr. Greg Brown
Any more.
We walked back to Ty’s apartment, but since
It really isn’t big enough to sleep more than
One or two people, we decided
To sleep in the camper.
Plus, Ty had to get up early to go to work
And we don’t deal with wake-up times
Before 10 AM. Deal with it. We’re rockstars.
And by ‘rockstars’ I mean
‘Poor people.’
There were homeless people yelling outside
Until the wee hours of the morning,
Which is a ridiculous expression.
Since when does ‘wee’ mean ‘late?’
Someone figure out the origin
Of that expression and get back to me. I’d
Love to know.
Anyway, we got up the next day and had to
Start making moves towards Los Angeles.
The city of Angeles.

Somewhere between Portland and Klamath Falls
I lost the sheet of stats and I am currently
Too lazy to look up the old blog posts
And stare at a bunch of numbers.
Way too much math involved.
Having said that, here are the stats:

Miles Driven: More than you.
$ Spent on gas: More than you would have to spend
if you were to buy a Ferrari F50 and the guy you were
buying it from was giving it to you for a little
under $1600.
$ Spent on Tolls: San Fran hit us with an $8.10
toll, so add that to the last toll total and KABLAM!
You’ve got your new toll total.
Cities visited: 4. 5 if you count Klamath Falls,
And NO ONE counts Klamath Falls. So, yeah…4.
# of birds obliterated by our windshield: 2
No joke. This one wasn’t after a Captain Beef,
He was just dumb. Come on, my little feathered
Friend...think about it. You’re tiny and fragile and
Weigh a ludicrously small amount. Balto is
Enormous, made of steel, anger, and wolf-tears
And is moving towards you at an average speed of
70 unforgiving M’s per H. Is it really worth it?
That’s all for now.

Love each other…

Introducing Greg Brown...

2010-06-09T14:11:00.002-07:00

San Fran Movie!

2010-06-09T14:11:00.001-07:00

Portland Movie!

2010-06-09T14:10:00.002-07:00

California (The Seattle Sessions) ft. Annabel Lee

2010-06-09T14:10:00.001-07:00

2010-06-09T14:09:00.001-07:00

Check out our good friends from Annabel Lee at www.myspace.com/theannabelleeband

Castles by Annabel Lee (ft. Martin Earley & Devin Mauch)

2010-06-09T14:07:00.000-07:00

Check out our good friends from Annabel Lee at www.myspace.com/theannabelleeband!

Time (The Seattle Sessions) ft. Annabel Lee

2010-06-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

Timber Nation

2010-06-08T02:47:00.000-07:00

Portland is an absolute jungle. It’s like
The Outback Steakhouse in a way:
No Rules, Just Right.
About 37 minutes after we parked our rig
We went back to get some things and noticed
That we had gotten a parking ticket.
$ amount of parking ticket: 49.
Reason for parking ticket: Parking in a zip-car
Spot.
Dumbest thing ever: Putting two zip-car spots
Right next to each other without actually marking
Them on the ground.
Either way, my good friend Camden got the people
In charge to void the ticket because it was absolute
Bullshit. I apologize for cursing,
But seriously….grow up.
Portland is full of food carts. The most
Expensive item in any of these carts is about $5.
It’s not exactly the healthiest food, or the best
For that matter, but it does the job for the money given.
We walked around and checked out the Saturday Market,
Which is basically an excuse for all of the most
Ridiculous people on the face of this earth to come out
And share their strangeness with everyone.
I can’t begin to describe all of the different people we saw.
It was awesome.
We played a show at Charlie’s café, but we had to get there first.
While on the bus:
Timid Gay Black Man to Dev: So how long have you been
Playing the drum?
Dev: Around 8 years
Timid Gay Black Man: Oh.
Gigantic person of undisclosed gender: Man I need a bottle
White guy carrying a bottle of Vaseline: I need a bottle of
Peptobismal, my stomach be fu*ked up.
Gigantic person of undisclosed gender: Who’s fault is that?
White guy carrying a bottle of Vaseline: Country Home Buffet’s!
White guy’s large girlfriend: Aw you had that Fish & Chips huh?
White guy applying Vaseline to large girlfriends arms: Nah girl,
I had the fish without the chips.
Gigantic person of undisclosed gender: Let me ask you this one
Thing though…Why didn’t you have none of that mac and cheese?
Later on in the conversation:
White guy applying Vaseline to large girlfriend’s back and kissing it:
Girl, you smell like hash browns.
Gigantic person of undisclosed gender: And YOU smell like
A sushi bar.
White guy applying Vaseline to large girlfriend’s back:
That’s cause I just took a shower at the sushi bar.
Can’t make this stuff up. Seriously.
We got to the venue and set up our stuff.
We had a nice crowd and everyone was digging the
Music. We played a lot of upbeat stuff and some solid
Covers. Free drinks at the bar, courtesy of Miranda,
One of the clear-cut highlights of our trip to Portland.
We asked her to show us around but she
Was quite clearly a step above us on the
Ladder of attractiveness. We’ve moved on.
We got a ride back to Camden’s place after
The show and then went out to the Shanghai Tunnel,
A chill bar on Portland. Had a few beers
And played some pool, met some people
And handed out some CDs. Gay
People are super friendly. Girls who
Think they are more attractive than they are
Are not very friendly at all. Yes, I’m speaking to you,
Tessa’s friend with the black hair. You deserve it.
Cheap beers = good times had.
We got back to Cam’s place and Dev insisted on
Sleeping in the camper. Fine by me.
He said he had a terrifying nightmare about being
Caught in a tornado. He woke up with a train
Passing by.
The next morning we went to get some breakfast.
I’ll give you one guess what we had.
No. Wrong.
We had waffle tacos.
Yeah, that’s right – you heard me.
Waffle tacos.
It’s a waffle, folded like a taco. With pecans and
Caramel in the middle.
Yeah…I know. Perfect.
My friend Caitlin came from Corvallis to have a waffle taco
With us. Good call made by her.
Then we went to the timbers game.
Just watch the videos. Seriously.
Anyone who knows the real football, the
European football, knows what it’s supposed to be like.
Portland’s got their situation figured out.
They know what they’re doing and they do it well.
Things eaten at the tailgate before the match:
Grilled banana with honey, bailey’s, and whipped cream,
Chips, burgers, Jello shots.
The Timbers army is like a big family,
And we felt like we were honorary members
For the day. Great times had,
Even though the match ended in a draw.
Big ups to the Timbers army, Nando, Eric,
Pong, and everyone else we met.
After the match we had to get on the rosd to cut the drive to San Fran
Down a bit. After a 5 hour drive through the mountains
Of Oregon (which are riddled with deer,
Elk, and bears) we arrived in Klamath Falls, Oregon –
Our stop for the night.
We stayed at my good friend Hannah’s house, and
She was nice enough to stay up late to meet us.
Did I mention she made us pancakes in the morning?
Saint status.
Off to San Fran...

Some stats:

# of Miles Driven: 3,884.9
$ Spent on Gas: Way too many
$ Spent on Tolls: 85.65
# of crazy people seen: ∞
# of waffle tacos inhaled: 1 each
CDs given away: 94
Cities Visited: 3
# of shower racks destroyed: 2
Text of the day: None made the cut.
# of additional times we will keep track
of text of the day: Probably zero. This is your own fault.

Love each other.

Seattle Movie!

2010-06-08T00:52:00.001-07:00

Building Castles in Seattle

2010-06-07T03:25:00.000-07:00

I figured out where I’d like to spend
All of the days that I don’t want to spend
In Ohio: Seattle.
Things we were promised when we first arrived:
Burritos as big as babies, a cupcake place that would
Make our wildest cupcake dreams come true, organic
Ice cream with all of the flavors we could ever imagine,
A troll beneath a bridge, home-cooked meals, and lots of music.
After a relaxing first night we went out into the city
To visit Pike’s Place and Pioneer Square.
Pike’s Place is a dangerous…place. It’s got tons of
Artisans selling local crafts and produce. Seattle
Is all about organic food – all about a mindful lifestyle.
Big lady at one of the pasta stands speaking to us
As we walked up to check out the free pasta giveaway;
“You guys are pretty!” Us:
“Thanks…” Big lady:
“I’m the resident lesbian so I can say that.” Us:
Totally unsure how to react.
The craziness of the fish-market guys cannot
Accurately be explained in words, so check out the video
Once it goes up. You’ll understand.
We drove by the troll under the bridge. It literally is
A big huge troll underneath a bridge. Not much else
To it, really. Just a gigantic troll who stares at you
As you drive by. We had to be careful, but it realized
That we came in peace and therefore did not steal our
Shoes. Phew. Close one.
The first Starbucks ever is in Seattle. It pretty
Much looks like any other Starbucks. Not much to
Report there, except for the band that was playing outside:
The Cast Iron Maidens.
Solid name. Crazy bunch. Check ‘em.
We met the Brossman family. All 32 of them. Let’s take a
Second to introduce them:
Abby: The youngest of the family, Abs is nothing short of
A soccer star, even though she lost the one game she
Had while we were there by about 6 goals. She’s
Ironic, sardonic, sarcastic, and a total sweetheart.
Oli: Being the only male child in a family with
31 sisters has its advantages. Oli didn’t go to
school once the entire time we were there. When
we asked him about it he said: “Hahahahahaha.”
Solid response. Oli loves soccer so he’s alright by me,
Though he supports the wrong club. We’ll
Let it slide for now.
Karina: This theater-major has got it all. One
Of the members of Annabelle Lee, she writes,
Sings, and plays guitar. Aside from that
She has an infectious laugh and the looks to match
Her stunning voice. And she’s a sweetheart as well.
Yeah, we kind of like her. How’d you know?
Stephanie: The manager in the family, Steph
Doesn’t mess around. She knows what she wants
And she knows how to get it. She’s no exception to the
Beauty that runs in the Brossman family, and she makes
Solid breakfast toast with eggs and cream cheese. A+.
Beverly: Bev is an accomplished flute player
And she just completed her masters in that field. Absolutely
Nasty. And by nasty I mean super sick at the flute. And by
Super sick I mean really, really good. I think
You get the picture, let’s move on.
Mrs. Brossman: Plain and simple: She’s a saint. Enough said.
Mr. Brossman: A man who reminds me of home. Originally
From Germany, Mr. Brossman’s love for Soccer
Is equaled by his love for U.S. History. He caught Dev off guard
By knowing everything there is to know about the history
Of New York. Good times.
Mr. Brossman: 1
Dev: 0
And now on to the Corcoran family:
Matt: What a man, what a man, what a mighty good man.
Matty helped us out in every way he could and
Was nice enough to open for us at the show we played.
He almost joined us for the rest of our trip,
And he plays ping pong. Not as well as Dev and I, but
Still.
Caroline: Another member of Annabelle Lee,
She writes, sings, and plays guitar and piano. Oh, and she’s
A composition major at Cornish. Oh, and she’s gorgeous.
Oh, and she thinks of everyone else before herself.
Oh, and she has a great outlook on life.
Oh, and she’s got an infectious laugh as well.
Oh, and her and Dev go way back.
Oh, and…yeah, she’s that cool.
Not a member of the Corcoran family, or the Brossman family,
But she might as well be:
Lena: Lena is the heart and soul of Annabelle Lee, even if
She was skeptical about the name. She sings,
Writes, plays guitar and percussion. She’s
Also a composition major, and it shows.
Oh, did I mention she looks like Pocahontas
Except better? She paints with all the colors
Of the wind. No joke. She told us.
We practiced and recorded some songs, so check those out once
They go up.
Thursday night we went to an Afro-Reggae-Funk club.
Wildly skeptical, Dev and I followed the girls
Like two dogs on a leash. Or two leashes I guess, but you
Understand. The bartender was nice enough to give us
Some of his “make you feel like you know how to dance”
Potion, and we suddenly felt much better about the
Idea of being there. Our feet were doing magical things.
Things we never dreamed of. Things that
Would make Michael Flatley look like a mere
Peasant of the Dance. Eat it, Mike – there are new
Lords in town.
As stunning and complex as our dance moves were,
There was one guy there that put us to shame.
He had a new girl with every song and he was
Doing things that looked like they were not only
Impossible, but also ridiculously unnecessary.
Words can’t describe. But he did make contact
With Dev’s ass on more than one occasion.
Accident? I guess we’ll never know…
But no, I don’t think so.
Definitely not.
Good thing we had our Montana beer with us:
Moose Drool, Drowning Trout, and Pig’s Ass.
Solid beers.
I did my best to stay in shape with all the heavy beer
Drinking, so I played a pick up soccer game with
Mr. Brossman and went on a run with Caroline
And Karina.
What did Dev do? No comment.
And by no comment I mean he spent
Upwards of 4 hours every day
Doing sit ups, push ups, and pull ups.
On Friday we set up for the show and practiced
Some more material.
Then we invited the girls to our camper
For an equally delicious and romantic
5 star lunch, courtesy of chef Martin
and chef Devin. It was the best meal ever.
You’re jealous.
People started showing up and we were happy to meet them.
Everyone was more than friendly and really supported
What we were doing. Yuki was back,
Even though the car she had just purchased
Had broken down that day.
Matty started us off with some songs,
Including a haunting cover of a Strokes song.
Then Annabelle Lee played a few (incredible)
Songs before introducing us.
Before you read on, please check out Annabelle Lee,
Formerly the Golden Slumbers.
These girls are full of talent and ambition,
And they will blow your mind. Seriously. And
By blow your mind I mean their music will
Make you want to smile, laugh, cry, hug, kiss,
Jump, nap, yell, hum, sing along, love, joke,
And wander all at the same time. And by
Seriously I mean go listen to their music
RIGHT NOW. I’ll wait.
Oh you’re back? Good. How’d you like the music?
Incredible, right? I know. I told you.
We went back and forth with the girls from Annabelle Lee,
Us playing a few songs and then them doing the same.
We mixed some collaborations into the sets
And had a lot of fun with the whole night.
After a while it turned into a gigantic jam session
And we began to play whatever people
Wanted us to play.
One girl in the audience (Amaris?) wanted us to play,
And I quote: “That Coldplay song!”
Me: “Which one?”
Her: “The one about life!”
Me: “Which one?”
Her: “You know, that one!”
Me: “No, I don’t know which one you’re speaking of…
Maybe if you give me a name…”
Her: “Ummm, you know, the one….umm…”
Me: “Okay, anyone else have any requests?”
Her: “Play Tom Petty!”
Me: “Anyone else have any requests?”
We turned the shindig into a dance party at times
And no one was more into it than Mrs. Brossman
Herself. She was doing things with a shaker
That have never been done. Musically.
# of times that she was on beat: 0
Total amount of fun she had: ∞
We played late into the night and tried to
Acquiesce to as many requests as we could.
We handed out a bunch of CDs and made sure
To make an attempt to talk to everyone
Who was there. Made some new contacts and had
An absolute blast doing it.
At around 3 AM it was time to tear down the
Equipment and clean up. The girls were
Nice enough to set up our beds because we had
Moved the camper to a different spot than the one it
Had been in. Guess why? I’ll give you one guess.
No. Wrong.
It was because a neighbor came over, walking
Like she was really late for some sort of hate-rally,
complaining that the place where Esperanza
Was parked was causing “lots of erosion to come into
Her yard.” Can’t make this stuff up.
We were parked on the road. But anyway,
We moved the camper, so we were allowed to sleep in
The house that night. Remember the dog analogy?
Everything comes full circle…
By the way, can erosion come into a yard?
Isn’t it more that the yard would be eroding?
Or the hill in a yard erodes? I think our briskly-walking
Friend was grammatically incorrect. I should
Write to her. Maybe I will.
I definitely will.
Anyway, we went to bed, Dev sleeping on the couch
And I sleeping on a fold up mattress. The blanket I had
Was clearly a beach blanket.
How do I know this? Well, let me tell you.
Because it had sand all over it.
Yes. Sand. Everywhere. So much sand.
But no worries, I just embraced it and fell asleep
In my beach bed. No harm done.
The next day we sadly had to say our farewells
And begin our trip towards Portland.
We relaxed for a little while to try to
Push back the inevitable, but everything
Good must come to an end.
We never got to eat a baby burrito, didn’t get
Cupcakes, didn’t get organic ice cream, but
We definitely loved every moment spent
In Seattle.

Here are the stats:

Miles Driven: 3,681.68
$ Spent on Gas: Too many
$ Spent on Tolls: 85.65
CDs given away: 49
Songs Recorded: Several CDs worth
Cities Visited: 2
Odds that we will ever return home
after 5 days in Seattle: Slim
Text message of the Day: “CENSORED”
Congratulations to Danny Edwards.

Take care of yourselves.

New Shows Announced!

2010-06-03T17:40:00.000-07:00

To all of you who make your living
on the West Coast,
or to those who have enough
money and energy to fly out here on short notice,
we've got some exciting news...

We'll be playing a show at the Clinton Corner Cafe
in Portland, Oregon on Saturday, June 5th.
We'll be joined by our good friend Camden Murray (Sea Legs)
and others. There is no cover, so just show up
and enjoy the music. The Cafe is located on the corner
of SE 21st and Clinton in Portland.

On Friday, June 11th we'll be playing a show
at The Dakota Lounge in Santa Monica, California.
Doors open at 7PM and we're on shortly after
so get there early! Tickets are $5 at the door
and all you have to do is mention that you're there
to see Martin Earley & Devin Mauch. Easy as that.
The Dakota Lounge is located at 1026 Wilshire Blvd
in Santa Monica. Dress code for this show:
"No shorts, gang wear, or flip flops." For real.

Hopefully we'll see some of you out there,
and if you're staying on the East Coast but have friends
on the West Coast - fill them in!

Water.

Some R & R in Seattle...

2010-06-02T11:36:00.000-07:00

We woke up at a decent hour in Ballard,
A suburban neighborhood just outside of
Seattle. Met our hosts for the next few days –
Caroline, Karina and their family. Great people
To say the least.
After a quick breakfast and an upload session
We finally got to take showers.
I think everyone around us was very thankful for that.
We packed a picnic and headed off towards
Gasworks Hill – a nice park with a great view of the
Seattle skyline. Had a great time playing music
For and with the girls before heading back.
Also handed out some CDs to a few
Randoms. Solid.
Came back to the house and got our first
Real home-cooked meal of the trip.
Spaghetti with a delicious tomato-sauce
And salad. Just what we needed.
We had a relaxing evening –
Also exactly what we needed.
Our updates might be a bit sporadic
In the next few days because we’ll be spending
A lot of time making music and resting up.
We’ll make sure to be back in full force soon, though.

Stats have not changed.
No winner for best text. Step it up, people. I
Expect more.
From now on the winner gets a shout out
In the video for that day. Let’s go.

Day 4 Movie!

2010-06-01T22:58:00.000-07:00

Bar on A (Greg Holden Cover) - The Windy Washington Sessions

2010-06-01T13:13:00.004-07:00

Day 5 Movie!

2010-06-01T13:13:00.003-07:00

Day 3 Movie!

2010-06-01T13:12:00.001-07:00

Mountains, Valleys, Rainbows, and Jesus

2010-06-01T11:38:00.000-07:00

One of the few things that can be considered
To be better than waking up in a Montana valley,
Surrounded by snow-capped mountains and green plains,
Is waking up from a Nyquil-induced super-coma
in a Montana valley.
Anaconda, Montana is a real place. Don’t let anyone
Tell you otherwise. They’re all liars. It exists.
It’s right next to Opportunity, Montana. Can’t make this
Stuff up.
We washed ourselves and threw some breakfast into
Our hungry mouths before we locked up Esperanza
And got back into Balto.
As we continued our trek towards Seattle we realized
That Montana was still beautiful. Yesterday had not been
A dream. Here’s a list of beautiful things in Montana:
trees, streams, valleys, mountains, snow, and big huge rocks.
I realize that doesn’t really sound particularly appealing
To a lot of you, but you’re not here, are you?
No, you’re not. So calm down. Yeah,
That’s what I thought.
We stopped in lovely little Missoula, Montana to eat lunch
(organic burgers again – can’t let ‘em go bad) and to
record some songs inside of Esperanza. We thieved
some internet from the local Holiday Inn
and didn’t feel badly about it at all. That’s how
crazy we are. Take note, people. Don’t be scared
of stealing Holiday Inn’s free wi-fi anymore.
Fear alleviated. You’re welcome.
Dev wanted to jump into one of the little rivers on
The side of the street. I told him to go for it.
Poll: Do you want Dev to jump into a freezing cold river
During this trip? Leave your responses in the comment
Section.
It’s funny how small you feel when a range of mountains
Is towering over you in all directions.
This is probably what the cricket man feels like
All the time. Except dirtier.
Before we left Montana we stopped at the Silver Dollar
Rest Stop. This place has everything.
We went in to get Montana hats, but we almost left with
The following things:
Guns, knives with paintings of wolves on their blades, bear-claws
That you strap on to the back of your hands, brass knuckles with
Knives attached to them, Orc cleavers, Slingshots, and Samurai swords.
I’m not sure what any of these things have to do with
Montana, but I do know that there were about 30 little kids
Running around the store with all of these items.
Either way, we found the trucker hats. Here are some
Slogans that were featured on some of them:
“Huntin’ Deer and Drinkin’ Beer”
“The 2nd Amendment: America’s Original Homeland Security”
“Bubba Rebel” (with a confederate flag)(?)
We decided to take a different approach and just got
Hats with animals on them. The ones on my hat are alive.
Dev got one with the skull of a bison on it.
Solid choices all around.
We got more local beer, including one called
“Pig’s Ass.” I wonder what it’ll taste like.
The check-out girl/lady was very interested in our trip
So we gave her a CD. Her name was Darlene. I
Think she wanted to do bad things to us. We left.
We hit a little rain on the way into Idaho, which
I think is more Idaho’s fault than Montana’s.
I think the main problem with Idaho is that it shares
Way too many letters with Ohio. It’s almost guilty by
Association. Work on that, Idaho. I’ll wait.
Soon after crossing into Idaho we realized that we were
On top of a mountain and out of gas.
We stopped in the next town: Wallace, Idaho.
Don’t go there. It’s really not worth it.
On into Washington and the rain stopped pouring.
We drove by a lookout point and had to stop
To record some songs. Met some cool people from
Vancouver and Portland – handed out some CDs.
Then two girls (I’d say around 16-17 years old) came
Running up to us. “Here we go with the autographs,”
We thought. But we were wrong. They just needed
A band-aid cause one of them had fallen from a horse
Or something dumb like that. We gave them a band-aid.
And a CD.
Moving on towards Seattle we realized that we hadn’t
turned the clocks back a full 3 hours. Awesome.
Instead of being an hour away, we were now two hours
Away. More time spent with good old Balto and Esperanza.
Nuvi Gipsy’s been trippin’ balls lately so we’ve been giving her
The silent treatment. See if that shuts her up. Do I think it will?
No. Am I willing to give it a try anyway? You bet your bottom
Silver dollar.
Now, I live in Maine. Dev lives in New York. Hunting isn’t a big
Deal to us. But we saw a truck at a gas station in Washington
And its bed was full of antlers and skulls. Somewhere a line
Needs to be drawn. The guy came out and apparently, with his
Washington backwoods senses, realized that we were
Judging him. Immediately he said:
“Most of those are wolf kills…”
As if that was supposed to be reassuring.
Now we’re left with a crazy Washington redneck
Who spends his days scouring the countryside
For the remains of wolf kills. Needless to say, we were
Very polite and very quickly on our way.
We saw a biker with a leather jacket that read:
“Bikers for Christ.” As he sped off into the distance
he left a marvelous trail of rainbows behind him.
It was celestial to say the least. Maybe Jesus was a biker.
Who knows? I’m not going to exclude it as an option.
We finally got into Seattle at around 11:30 PM and met up
With Dev’s friends Yuki and Caroline.
Played some music for a while and didn’t even get
A noise complaint. Seattle is gaining cool points.
Watch out, Minnesota – Washington’s coming for you.
Tomorrow it’s off to explore the city and
Probably to record some more music.
We’ll keep you posted.
I’m Martin Earley, Devin’s almost asleep,
And you are the best audience in the world.
Thank you, goodnight.

What? Encore? Oh, I really shouldn’t. No, really,
There are rules.
…Okay fine, just for you…

Here are the stats:

Miles Driven: 3,339.68
$ Spent on Gas: 1011.45
$ Spent on Tolls: 85.65
Cds Given Away: 28
Songs Recorded: 8
Cities Visited: 2
Babies Stolen: 1
Trucker Hats Purchased: 2 (each)
Babies Returned: 0
Text Message of the Day: “Joaquin Phoenix is the
illegitimate lovechild of Rob Reiner and Ohio.”
Congratulations to John.
That is all.

Heart & Soul (The Windy Washington Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:45:00.001-07:00

Crazy (The Esperanza Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:41:00.001-07:00

Lovely, Lovely (The Montana Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:40:00.002-07:00

Alone (The Montana Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:40:00.001-07:00

Time (The South Dakota Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:37:00.001-07:00

Spiraling (The South Dakota Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:36:00.000-07:00

Leaving (The South Dakota Sessions)

2010-06-01T02:35:00.000-07:00

The Land of No Tolls

2010-05-31T11:45:00.001-07:00

Woke up in South Dakota and surprisingly found
No rain. No lightning. No thunder. It’s a good day.
Get on the road for a long day of driving towards
Seattle – Nuvi Gipsy (almost reluctantly) guides us.
South Dakota is flat like a pre-Galilean earth, until
You hit the Missouri river. Then it’s mountain-country
For a while.
We came upon a trucker who was far angrier than was
Necessary. We’re not sure if his anger was borne of his Napoleon
Complex, his illiteracy, his inability to grow a moustache that
Can be taken seriously, or the fact that he was transporting
Crickets. Anyway, we passed him. Then he passed us.
So we passed him again, only to get re-passed by this
Half-mustachio’d Christmas elf from Utah. Game on, Broheme.
We pass him again and get it on tape. “Congratulations, Dev & Martin,”
We thought, “you won the battle.”
Wrong.
This tiny little goblin-like creature comes up on our right once again.
Out with the video camera. Let’s get this Gollum wanna-be on tape.
Oh, how superior we thought we were.
And how surprised and shocked we both were when
We realized that this little cricket guy was taping us!
He must have gotten wind of the show in Chicago (no pun intended)
And realized that he was playing “king of the road” with
Two international superstars. I’m sure he’s following the blog now.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he set up his own blog,
Following the progress of ours.
Or maybe he was just pissed – who knows?
Either way, this little man fell from the ugly tree and hit
Every branch on the way down. I can’t say I wouldn’t be angry
If I were 5’2”, 130 lbs and looked like a cross between
Darth Vader without his mask and one of those Orcs from
Lord of the Rings, you know, not the big badass ones,
The little filthy, sleazy ones. I think cricket man has taken up enough
Space here. Let’s move on.
We pulled into Ghost Town, South Dakota to gas up and
Decided to record a few songs in front of the beautiful landscape
We encountered there. A few passers-by
Stopped to talk to us. Turns out they live about
5 miles away from Dev’s house. Coincidence? Probably.
Either way, we gave them a CD and continued recording.
We also purchased South Dakota trucker hats for the
Ridiculous price of $3.50. Who could pass that up? Not us.
Update: Soda is not soda here – it’s Pop. And it only costs
10 cents. Coffee is 5 cents. We may or may not have traveled back to
the 1920’s.
We passed Rapid City, SD and saw absolutely no rapids.
In fact, the only thing that was rapid about it
Was the speed at which we passed it by.
Wyoming lasted for about 7 minutes, but gave us no
Trouble. The skies were not quite what our girls from
RJ promised, but maybe we caught them on an
Off-day.
We soon passed into Montana, which is by far
The prettiest place we’ve driven through so far.
Flat plains, snow-capped mountains, and the greenest
Hillsides. Montana’s got it all.
We stopped and recorded two more songs
As the sun was going down behind us.
If I could do college all over again, I would strongly
Consider Chief Dull Knife College in Lame Deer, Montana,
Just so I can say I go to Chief Dull Knife College
In Lame Deer, Montana if anyone asks. I mean, come on.
The name alone is worth the tuition.
We kept driving into the night, but not before
Purchasing some local beer, called “Moose Drool.”
We’re pretty excited to try it.
We arrived at a rest stop at around 2:30 AM
And decided to call it a night.
Tomorrow brings us into Seattle.
Take care of yourselves.

Here are some stats:

Miles Driven: 2,774.6
$ Spent on Gas: 793.72
$ Spent on Tolls: 85.65
$ Spent on Tolls in MN, SD, WY, MT: 0.00
CDs Given Away: 21
Cricket Men Pissed Off: 0.75
Songs Recorded: 5
Cities Visited: 1
Cows Seen: ∞
P.S.: We’ll start the text-message contest
With tomorrow’s blog, since we’re updating them
A day late. Relax, okay? We’re only human.

Of Windmills & Princesses

2010-05-30T21:11:00.000-07:00

Woke up in a very highly lofted full-size bed,
Feeling like an Ewok – just ready to go pick berries
And mess with some storm troopers.
We promised our boy Tirado that we’d come pick up our
Yacht before noon so it doesn’t take up 3 police parking spots anymore,
So we woke up at 10 AM.
There is a place in Chicago that we will clutch very closely
To our road-worn hearts:
Beans & Bagels.
Total Orders:
Dev: Toasted everything bagel with chive
cream cheese (shout out to Janna) and
a Pucker-Up smoothie
Martin: Toasted plain bagel with cream cheese
& lox (shout out to BR) and a Monkey In the
Tree smoothie
Grace: Cup of water (shout out to BORING) &
a purple smoothie with a name that
Bespeaks the obscurity of the smoothie names
Previously mentioned
Our new friend Andy hooked us up with a ride
To the police station so we could pick up our
Regatta and get going.
Of course not before saying our goodbyes
To the people who were kind enough
To invite us into their home and treat us like
Namibian princesses while we were there. I say princesses
Because I feel like, in Namibia, the princesses are treated
With much more respect and general illustriousness than
The princes. I apologize to any Namibian princes I may have
Offended with this brash assumption. But seriously,
You’re a prince, dude…relax.
We sat in traffic outside of Chicago for a little
While, but we quickly got through it and
Began moving through Illinois like any normal
And reasonably decent person would move through
Ohio: fast.
Wisconsin came and went with all her farms
And farms and grass and farms and cows. Not much
To report there, but I guess we should mention
That we were more afraid of hitting a cow
Than anything else at that point.
We hit I-90 and Nuvi Gipsy was quick to inform us
That we wouldn’t be leaving this fine stretch of highway
For another 677 miles. Thanks Nuves. Really appreciate it.
We crossed the Mississippi river into Minnesota – the state
That easily won the award for worst welcome sign ever.
I could have made a better welcome sign using
A piece of paper and colored pencils. Seriously.
Apparently Minnesota isn’t very welcoming. Or so
We thought.
But then we got out into the plains.
We were surprised to find a shit-ton of wind-turbines
That apparently supply the energy for all of the farms in the area.
There were about 6 farms in the area and about
430 wind-turbines.
If each wind-turbine generates 3000 Volts per minute
And they are turning for 23 hours every day,
How much energy does each farmhouse acquire
In the span of 3 hours? Figure it out mathletes. Get back to me.
Leave a correct answer in the comment section and you’ve
Got one juicy Captain Beef coming straight for you.
Dev called Haw-Nah (who lives in Minnesota) to see if
We could stop by her farm and watch her
Till her fields and milk her cows. We
Left a long and detailed message, only to get a call back
From a nice man who sounded like he was calling
From Bangladesh. I think we had the wrong number.
We stopped to cook some dinner (organic burgers in a
Coat of garlic, onion, pepper, and mushrooms, accompanied
By our signature 5-star salad) inside of Esperanza
and to sneakily steal
some of AmericInn’s Wi-fi to upload yesterday’s
blog entry and some new videos.
It’s tough to be sneaky when you’re steering
A gigantic armada up the street. But we pulled it off.
Oh, and we drove through Austin, MN:
Spam Town USA. I promise you, this is not a joke.
Google that – you’ll see.
We just rolled into Martin County – Minnesota
Is now the proud new owner of
12 cool points. 10 out of 10 for naming a
county after me, and 2 out of 10 for that county
being in the middle of absolutely nowhere. Congratulations,
Minnesota, you now have 14 more cool points
Than Ohio. Do the math, Ohio.
We do a lot of driving every day, so, to mediate our boredom,
We’ve decided to include you guys in our journey.
What do I mean? I’ll tell you. Riiight NOW:
The most creative text message we receive
On any given day will win a special award. No,
It’s not a Captain Beef, but we’ll put the winner
And the message in our stats section. Okay, fine,
You get a Captain Beef as well.
My number is:
207.385.6168
Dev’s is:
845.235.9978
Let’s see what you guys can come up with.
If we don’t get any messages we will make up
Fake ones and fake people so we don’t appear
Like we don’t have any friends.

Here are some stats:

# of Miles driven: 1,943.7
$ on gas: 500.01
$ spent on tolls: 85.65
CDs Given Away: Still 20
Tolls skipped by accident: 3
Tolls skipped by Martin: 0
Tolls skipped by Devin: No Comment
Toll system in Illinois: Dumb
Miami: Now farther away than Seattle. Sorry Lorena.
Indian Men Prank Called: 1
Flies Killed by Devin: 3
Update: If you pee onto a hill outside of a closed gas
Station in Minnesota, your pee will
Roll down said hill and try to drown your shoes.
I’m not sure if this also happens in other states.
If you’re not in Minnesota, do some research and let me know.

We’re docking in the Badlands of South Dakota
In the middle of a huge thunderstorm.
Rain is pouring down and we’re
Only supposed to be parked here
For 3 hours. But we don’t care. We’re
As badass as that dude on the bike in Indiana.
That’s pretty badass.
I guess, in South Dakota, when it rains it pours.
Ohio probably knows all about that…
We’re moving on tomorrow morning.
Update: Dev just killed another fly. Up that count to 4.
We hope you enjoy the videos – don’t worry, baby birds,
we’ll make sure to feed you.

Be well…

Day 2 Movie!

2010-05-29T18:31:00.000-07:00

Day 1 Movie!

2010-05-29T18:26:00.000-07:00

Tirado: Lord of the Wind and its City

2010-05-29T17:55:00.000-07:00

10 AM is way too late to get up
when you’re in Ohio, because that leaves you
with only 14 hours in the day
to get the hell out of the state.
And as if Ohio hadn’t been annoying enough,
We had to pay another obscene amount just to leave.
If we never see Ohio again it would be too soon.
Note: Next time a crazy old guy at a gas station in Indiana
Gives you directions to Chicago that avoid all the tolls,
Trust him. Don’t just say, “Okay, guy…thanks a lot”
and ignore him,
Because he has feelings too, and the odds are pretty good
That he actually knows what he’s talking about. Lesson learned.
How is it possible that, 2 miles after paying an $8.50 toll
To leave Indiana we have to pay a $10.10 toll
To cross the so-called Chicago Bridge (which isn’t even in Chicago)?
Real cool, Illinois. Real cool.
Big thumbs up to American time zones and remembering
To change your clocks when you cross them.
Big thumbs down to residential Chicago and their
Law that prohibits big trucks with trailers to be parked
In street-side parking spaces. I mean, seriously. Grow up.
Time spent getting from the Chicago Bridge to Chicago: 2 hours
Distance covered during that time: Approximately 5 miles
Time spent trying to find a parking spot in Chicago: 1.5 hours
Parking in the Chicago Police parking lot: Priceless.
Chicago has no Batman; Chicago has no Flash. Chicago has Tirado.
This man (police officer) allowed us to park in his lot and told us
That, should we get any trouble, we should just say we’re family
And that he is unavailable. What a man.
If Jesus, Angelina Jolie, and Brett Michaels had an illegitimate
Love-child, that child would be Tirado.
Figure that one out.
Big thumbs up to Sam for picking us up in
Rush hour traffic, even though she wasn’t feeling well.
We were lucky enough to experience some traditional
Chicagoan (Chicaganese?) cuisine:
Quesadillas, guacamole, beans, and rice, along
With some delicious Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to wash it all down.
I think out of all the people that were there last night I liked
Grace, Jordan, Cassandra, Laura, Bridey (minus the fact that she’s from Ohio),
Andy, Steve, Chris, Christina, Sara, Amber,
Sam, Alexana, Lorena, Monica, Travis,
Joanna, and Aaron the best.
Candlelight + acoustic music = Pure passion potion
Here’s our set list:
1. Lovely, Lovely
2. Heathrow
3. A Thief
4. Bar on A (Greg Holden Cover)
5. Leaving
6. Eager & Alive
7. Spiraling
8. I Just Wanna Luv U/Let’s Get it On (Jay-Z/Marvin Gaye Covers)
9. Time
10. On A Freezing Chicago Street (Margot & the Nuclear So and So’s Cover)
11. Pick Your Heart Up
12. Alone
13. California

While Martin sang symphonies of sweetness,
Dev obviously rocked the girl voice parts, duh.
Good times on the reg, but Grace had no balls.
Ping-Pong balls…perverts. Get it together.
3 girls walked in and apparently were so stunningly beautiful
that the power immediately went out.
We decided to play some music for them.
They tried to drag us to the beach but
It was 4 AM and we had big plans for the next day,
So we had to decline. Sadly. Facebook us.
Things I found in my (Sam’s) bed (She wasn’t in it): Logic Homework,
Pink Bra – Cup Size: inappropriate for this blog, get your minds out
Of the gutter people, this is family entertainment, earrings, panties,
Half-full cup of Starbucks Coffee, empty tea mug with teabag still in it,
Several books and pens, and, of course, a good night’s sleep.
Note: An interesting fact has crossed our path…while it is
Approximately 35 hours to Seattle, Miami is a mere 28…we’ll sleep on it.

Here are our stats:

$ Spent on Gas: 316.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 76.65
Cities Visited: 1
CDs Given Away: 20
Noise Complaints Received: 1
# Of Times Parked at Police Stations: 1
# Shows played: 1.0
#Shows played without Mrs. Patio: 0.0

Update # 1: Nuvi, (the handy dandy GPS, but don’t tell her, she thinks shes human),
Has a last name now, and it is Gypsy. Not our call, but we had to respect
Her wishes, she’s doing a hell of a job. (Hopefully Balto and Esperanza don’t get pissy)
Update #2: Seattle > Miami ….for now.

Balto, Nuvi, and Esperanza

2010-05-28T16:57:00.000-07:00

Getting up at 4:15 AM is like
going to bed at 8:45 PM: dumb.
6.5 hour drive from Winterport, ME to Red Hook, NY: Check.
Satellite radio is one of the greatest inventions ever, but it
Doesn’t even hold a candle to the GPS. That thing is magical, mystical
And (in my opinion) definitely nothing short of
paranormal. Someone get David Duchovny in here
to explain all of this.
Ours is named Nuvi (thanks Annika).
We took the liberty of naming our truck Balto because he
Is the man and tows a bunch of heavy shit behind him without
Any complaints.
Our camper is called Esperanza because she’s a wild Spanish mare
And you don’t want to get on her bad side.
She’s fiery, she’s passionate - she knows what she wants.
But she looks out for us. She’s warm and comforting
And she lets us live inside of her. Okay this is getting weird.

Anyway, I picked Dev up and we started gunning towards Chicago:
The city of Wind. Is that why they called Jordan ‘His Airness?’
I don’t know - I don’t think so. Wikipedia it.

After riding through farm-country, New York we entered
Farm-country, Pennsylvania – trees, sky, rocks.
I feel like I’ve been in the car for 18 hours.
I think it’s because I’ve been in the car
For 20 hours.

Pennsylvania doesn’t offer too much.
But to be fair, we didn’t visit Philadelphia or Pittsburgh.
Or any Amish place.

Setting up camp at a campsite (Wal-Mart) in
Ohio tonight – a stone’s throw
from Chicago…if you can throw stones over 230 miles.

Time to get a set down for the show tomorrow
But here are some stats:

Trailer: Hooked up, stocked (fully), riding smoothly
# of Miles driven: 1020.3
Hypothesis: The Vanessa Carlton song
‘1000 miles’
was written about driving from Maine
to New York and then to Ohio. Look it up. Get back to me.
$ Spent on Gas: 256.91
$ Spent on Tolls: 35.55 (Thanks, Ohio – You Bastard)
Sleeping in a Wal-Mart parking lot in Ohio: Priceless
Cities Visited: 0
CDs given away: 0
Devins Picked up: 1
# of Golden Slumbers songs learned: 1
Melissa Etheridge: Manly voice but the song
“You can sleep while I drive”
is a solid road trip song.
Plain White T’s: Literally one of the worst bands
I’ve ever heard. The song
‘1, 2, 3, 4 (I Love You)’
has caused me to consider throwing out
all of my white t-shirts in refusal of
supporting the pure unadulterated garbage that
these guys try to pass for music.
Harsh? Yes. Deserved? You tell me.
Daphne Willis: Someone find out who this girl is,
please. She came up on the satellite radio and it took me
approximately 3.6 seconds of hearing her voice to fall in
deep, deep, sweet, sweet love with her.
I think the trip has just been given a new focus:
find Daphne Willis and (with tender love and care)
force her to sing to me until the end of time,
which, by my Mayan friend’s calculations, is around
2 years from now.
Birds obliterated by our windshield: 1, but this bastard was vicious.
I saw him try to swoop in from above like a tiny little fighter pilot.
He had his greedy little
Bird-eyes on my roast beef, corned beef, and lettuce
sandwich (I call it ‘Captain Beef’).
Anyway, he foolishly challenged the windshield to a duel.
I’ll give you one guess who won. Leave your
Guesses in the comments section.
If you’re right, you get a Captain Beef,
courtesy of Me and Dev.
Toledo, Ohio: You are the angry ginger stepchild
of America.
Ohio in General: Cheer up, man. Seriously.
I thought you were for lovers.

Speaking of lovers,
We love you guys.
Be well.

This message brought to you by Overnite.com

Checking in...Checking out

2010-05-27T08:13:00.001-07:00

As I type this "first post" of mine, Mr. Martin is less than 1 hour from my house in little ol' Red Hook New York. The 40 foot rig that we've convinced ourselves we can drive 8,000 miles around the country is chuggin' along and treating her driver to a pleasant ride. I am sure that "she" will soon have a name and a song written for her seeing as how many hours we'll be with the ol' lass. Our destination on this overcast day is Chicago Illinois, or close to it. Tomorrow night we have our first show in Chicago at 8:30PM (if you want the address just ask!). Then we'll be high tailing it to Seattle over the next couple of days after that to meet up with a good friend of mine, Miss Caroline Corcoran. We'll be playing a show in Seattle on June 3rd with her band Golden Slumbers (check them out on facebook, they are amazing). Our plan is to upload videos every day or so, including videos of the shows which we will be recording and eventually make a DVD out of!

Please don't hesitate to shoot us an email, comment, phone call, etc. It is going to be a long trip, and it will be good to hear from anybody and everybody!

Here is our itinerary...if you know anyone who lives in these cities, get us in touch with them so they can come out to a show!

Talk to you all soon, keep checking in

Love,

Devin & a driving safely Martin

Depart Maine on Thursday, May 27^th at 5 AM

Arrive in Red Hook, NY around 12 PM

Depart Red Hook, NY before 1 PM

Arrive in Chicago, IL around 4:30 AM, Friday, May 28th

Spend night around Cleveland, OH and

Arrive in Chicago, IL around 12 Noon, Friday May 28^th

Spend the night in Chicago, House concert at 8:30 PM

Spend Saturday, May 29^th DAY in Chicago

Depart Chicago on Saturday, May 29^th around 6 PM

Pick up Brendan in Milwaukee at 7:30 PM

Spend the night somewhere between Minnesota and Montana

Depart rest stop early on Sunday, May 30^th

Drive through Montana on Sunday, May 30^th

Spend the night in Montana

Depart Montana early on Monday, May 31^st

Arrive in Seattle, WA evening of Monday May 31st

Spend Monday night in Seattle

Spend Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday in Seattle

Show on Thursday, June 3^rd

Depart Seattle on Friday, June 4^th at around 8-9 AM

Arrive in Portland, OR on June 4^th in the early evening

Spend June 4^th and June 5^th in Portland

Show on June 4^th or June 5^th

Depart Portland on June 6^th at around 8-9 AM

Arrive in San Francisco, CA late night of June 6^th

Spend the night in San Francisco

Spend June 7^th in San Francisco

Depart San Francisco early morning of Tuesday, June 8^th

Arrive in L.A. evening/night of June 8^th

Spend the night in L.A.

Spend Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday in L.A.

Depart L.A. Saturday, June 12^th around 10 AM – 12 Noon

Arrive in San Diego Saturday June 12^th between 4 and 6 PM

Spend the night in San Diego

Spend Sunday, June 13^th in San Diego

Depart San Diego early on Monday June 14^th

Arrive in Las Vegas, NV on the evening of Monday June 14^th

Spend Monday night in Las Vegas

Depart Las Vegas somewhat early on Tuesday, June 15th

Arrive at the Grand Canyon, AZ evening of June 15^th

Spend the night at the Grand Canyon

Depart Grand Canyon early on Wednesday June 16^th

Arrive in Santa Fe, NM evening of Wednesday June 16^th

Spend the night in Santa Fe

Spend Thursday, June 17^th in Santa Fe

Depart Santa Fe early morning of Friday June 18^th

Arrive in Austin, TX late night Friday June 18^th

Spend the night in Austin

Spend Saturday June 20^th in Austin

Depart Austin early on Sunday, June 21^st

Arrive in New Orleans evening of June 21^st

Spend the night in New Orleans

Depart New Orleans early morning Monday June 22^nd

Arrive in Wilkesboro, NC evening of June 22^nd

Spend the night in Wilkesboro

Depart Wilkesboro early morning of Tuesday, June 23^rd

Arrive in Virginia Beach, VA/Washington D.C. early evening of June 23^rd

Spend the night

Depart early on Wednesday June 24^th

Arrive in Red Hook, NY late night of Wednesday, June 24th

Pre-Trip Musings

2010-05-25T18:13:00.000-07:00

A little more than 1 day until we depart.

Here are some stats:

Trailer: Purchased (thanks ma), not cleaned, not hooked up, not stocked...
Food: Purchased (thanks ma)
Guitar: Unstrung & Dirty (song title?)
Cities visited: 0
# of miles driven: 0
$ spent on gas: 0.00
$ spent on tolls: 0.00
Hours spent driving: 0
CDs given away: 0
# of Devins picked up: 0

Okay these stats might seem a bit

disparaging and maybe even a little pointless,

but just remember...

we haven't left yet.